If you are reading this article right now, it means to say that you do have reserved whether spanking is the right method to use on your kids.
Parents are confused and frustrated, they could not find any ways to get kids to behave, which is why they went on with spanking their kids. This is the fastest and easiest way to get the situation under controlled.
Should parents spank their children? Is there other ways to discipline kids to replace spanking?
Reacting to your child behavior
Do you have a time when you woke up one day and find that you overslept by an hour and is running late for work? You rush to prepare to get ready for work, and your daughter needs to prepare and go to school.
Your daughter, who slept late last night, doesn’t feel like going to school because she was tired. You kept calling for her to wake up for school, but she continues to lie in her comfortable bed. Time is running out;
” Darling, please wake up now. you are already late for school. I’m seriously late for work!”
She continues to ignore your warning. You started to lose your cool and started spanking her hard. Due to fear and physical pain, she started washing quickly, packing her stuff and go to school immediately.
You thought that “this was definitely the most Efficient way of getting kids to listen to what I say, just as what my parents did to me the last time when I was still a kid.”
But is this an Effective way on the long run and for your kids’ growth?
Why do we sometimes feel spanking is OK?
As parents, we always have the urge to do what’s necessary which we think is best for our children upbringing. We might have been through similar experiences when we are still a kid.
We were always spanked whenever we made mistakes, disobey rules or argue with our parents, and we turn out just fine. But perhaps we were just lucky to turn out OK in spite of the way we were brought up in these kinds of environment.
Having a stressful job you hate so much, single parent due to failed marriage and growing up in an abusive environment are some causes which could affect parent self-awareness on being emotionally unstable when dealing with children behavior.
Improving your self-awareness increases the effectiveness of how you are able to handle your kids during disruptive situations.
How does spanking or physical punishment affect kids growth?
In the US, statistic has shown that there are over 60% of families using physical punishment to educate their children. This is a serious health concern for children.
The researcher has found out that use of violence to children leads to an increase in delinquency, anti social behavior and reduces a child bonding with their parents. This resulted to power struggles, and as kids slowly understand that a poor behavior gets a parent attention, they will continue doing it.
Adults who have been through experiences of physical punishment from their parents are more likely to do the same to their own child. This, in turn, creates a high risk of the child adopting the use of violent behavior to deal with disputes and becoming a child
There are 24 countries which prohibited physical punishment in all settings, more than 100 countries have already banned physical punishment in schools.
4 New Gen Discipline ways to educate VS using Fear (Spanking)
Parents normally consider the term discipline as punishment. The word discipline originates from the Latin word “disciplina”, which simply means “teaching or learning”. The key component to an effective method is to teach and correct our child behavior, providing them the right tools for them to make
The New Gen Discipline Ways, which incorporates “Teaching and Learning” to help educate the kids are much more effective than using fear as a tool to influences kids to listen and behave.
Kids craved for attention from parents to sense their presence. By setting aside more private time and positive attention for your kids, it removes the desire of kids having to use negative behavior as a form to catch your attention.
What all kids wanted are simply your attention. They will find means and ways just to seek for attention, even if it is a negative attention. To the kids, negative attentions is better than no attention.
Getting your kids to learn to a make better decision increases her personal self-awareness in knowing what is right and what is wrong. Engaging role-playing games with your kids, pretending you are the child instead and letting your kids interact with you through various decision-making on different scenarios like ” May I have a sweet, please?”
Gives encouragements to your kids whenever they made a right decision or did something good. ” You have done a great job in keeping the toys, Charlotte!” ” It was nice to you to share your toy with your sister”. Getting appreciation from parents encourages kids to have more clarity and tends to enable them to strive for better choices.
Set clear ground rules to create boundaries, ensure everybody understands the consequences of breaking any of the rules. The consequences of breaking the rules will be related to the misbehavior the kids have done.
If the kids found playing with the food despite after 3 warnings, the food will be kept away. They can only have food for the next meal. Fighting over toys and unwilling to share will result having the toy confiscated for a day until the kids learn how to share and taking turns to play.
A lot of parents after implementing the ground rules tends to break it after sometimes as they could not bear their kids continuous pleading. By breaking the rules, it enables kids to start questioning on your ground rules and find other ways to break it.
The most important things are to maintain consistency with the ground rules to abide. Consequences need to be executed every time the kids step out of the boundaries and breaking the rules.
Bottom line on spanking
Using spanking as a form of educating and disciplining your kids is a short term solution. Spanking increases the sense of insecurity towards you. It then further develops into fear, and your children will no longer be able to trust or confide in you.
The aim of the “New Gen Discipline way” is to educate the kids by empowering them to gain better self-awareness, understands that every decision they made has a consequence.
Plan and leave your work behind, turn on airplane mode on your mobile phone, and starts spending more quality time with your kids, interacting with them and creates a better environment for them to grow up.
When it comes to abiding by what was promised, parents played an important aspect here as this directly affects how kids react.
Take note one thing in mind; Kids role model what parents speak and do.
Tell us what is your way of handling your children? Should parents spank their children? Are there other means of using non-violence to react to your child’s misbehavior?
I love to hear from your comment.