There are times when children do not get something they want, they started to get angry, throwing things all over the place. Some will cry out loud and hurt themselves in order to gets what they want. How early should parents start to educate your children to practice self-control?
Do you know;
A group of researcher did a study on teaching self-control by giving one lollipop to a group of children age 4. The children were told they could either eat the lollipop immediately or they could wait for 30 minutes and gets a second lollipop as a form of reward for their patience.
When the group of children went to colleges, those children who got the second lollipop were doing better emotionally, socially and academically.
Based on the findings we could see that not teaching children self-control early could result in them not able to resist temptation, learning to wait for their turn and sharing with others.
Self-control should start when children have the desire for something. Here are the 6 things great parent do differently to teach children self-control
Practice what you preach is one of the most important aspects when coming to teach your children self-control. You cannot expect your child to be able to control themselves when you are always losing your cool, arguing with people and using the phone every time when you tell them not to look at the phone.
Parents need to exhibit on own behavior and self-control first for the children to see and follow.
Let your children understand the benefit and consequences for not abiding by self-control. If they bend on doing something against the rules etc fighting over a particular toy, confiscate the toy and tell them they won’t see the toy for the next few days.
Do not attempt to give them even if they started to cry out loud. A parent should repeatedly tell the children the reason why the toy was been kept away to let them feel the consequences for themselves.
Encourage & Praise
Whenever your kids practice self-control, for example, they came to you and tell you they can’t eat chocolate right now because it is already late at night. Praise them for displaying self-control and understand the reason. It acts as a form of encouragement and everyone including adults loves praises from others.
This will create self-awareness and motivates the children to practice more self-control.
Storytelling and Role Play
Children’s loves storytelling! Spend time with your children on storytelling and discuss with them what are the lessons that can be learned from. This help children to think deep into their sub-conscience mind.
Doing role-playing ( Children become the parent, parent become the child) and simulating on the particular scenario on possible reaction is an excellent way of letting your kids see and better understand self-control.
The practical way is the most effective ways to learn and adapt self-control than by listening and reading.
If the child started crying for candy and you give it to her, you have just taught her that crying is an effective way to get what they want. And the next time they wanted something, they will use the same method to gets what she wants.
Most parents give in to their children once they cry either because they can’t stand to deprive their kids crying or it is an easier solution.
Reward them only if they behave and not when they cry for it. Rewarding the child who asks nicely teaches them social skills and self-control.
Patient Delivers Positive Return
Being patient with your children is an important aspect every parent should practice. Changes is not an overnight process. It takes time and consistency to nurture before your children will learn to adapt to self-control.
The journey will definitely not be smooth sailing, but the returns are tremendous and worthwhile. You not only see your children grow up and become a person with character, You will also grow learn through the process of attaining self-control.
Being a Great Parents requires a lot of time and effort into nurturing and educating their children to ensure they are going on the correct path.
I would love to hear from all the great parents on their experiences in teaching your kids on self-control.
Sharing of ideas and experiences helps one another to grow and have different perspectives.